Canada Road Trip: Underground in Diefenbunker

Before we returned to actual civilization, we headed underground. But, considering we were going to Diefenbunker, it was like a reintroduction to civilization in the event of the Cold War. Diefenbunker was built by a guy named Diefenbaker. He was the Prime Minister of Canada during the Cold War. The bunker was built to protect the Canadian government from a nuclear attack. It's now a museum detailing the Cold War and Canada's involvement. (Totally normal summer vacation activity.)

To enter the bunker, we walked down a very long, cold tunnel. This is the tunnel is THE TUNNEL that would protect some good Canadians from nuclear bad stuff.

Many of the rooms were set up as they were during the time the bunker was operational. There was never an attack, so it was never used for its original purpose.

Other rooms were set up as a museum to the Cold War.

I'm giving credit where credit is due. Rob is the one who said, regarding the poster above, "This is what Winnipeg is now." (But maybe it's gotten better! The Jets are back!)

TECHNOLOGY

Keeping Canada safe!

Rob sat at the Prime Minister's desk. We aren't really sure if he was allowed.

Here is PGH-related content! Looks like the Northside is safe from a nuclear attack. The rest of the city? Including me sitting here in the East End? We're in trouble. (If for some reason someone drops a nuclear bomb on Washington, PA.)

Canada Road Trip: The Pig's Town and Bug Hell

When we left Sudbury, the sun was going down. It didn't take too long before we were driving through complete darkness again. Even during the day, these drives were extremely monotonous. At night, it was hard to tell if you were actually moving or maybe just standing still in the middle of the road. Worried we would run out of gas before hitting Sault Ste. Marie, we stopped at a "trading post," which is what you get when you're no longer on the main highway. (That's a good indicator of how insignificant these towns were that we were visiting - we were relegated to secondary roads.) During our brief chat with the Canucks hat-wearing cashier, we learned that things like moose, bears and wolves crossed the road all willy-nilly round those parts. Which pretty much terrified me right before I was to take over driving duties.

But, we made it to our hotel in Sault Ste. Marie in one piece. But, sadly, it was a bit too late to go gallivanting around town. See, the reason we were in Sault Ste. Marie was to see if we could see Tyler Kennedy, aka Piggy.

TK - if you ever see this, I do truly enjoy you and cheer for you in earnest.

Okay. I'll admit to this only being my reason. Rob is just a good friend who goes along with my crazy sometimes. Our plan was to each wear TK t-shirts to a bar. Then magically TK would appear. But, by the time we pulled into the parking lot, I wasn't even willing to muster the energy to go out, even for some pig hunting.

Skip ahead to 1:10 to watch what made me choose Tyler Kennedy as my favorite Penguin. Adorable.

The next morning though, we did both don those Kennedy t-shirts and set out like a couple of real weirdos to explore a charming little stretch in downtown Sault Ste. Marie. After wandering for way too many blocks, I was starting to get hungry-cranky again. We passed the town's mall, and being that it had both an ATM and a Tim Horton's, we made our way inside. Apparently we were late to the party, because I think maybe all people from all of Sault Ste. Marie were already there.

I propose a change to this! Take out "naturally gifted"; sub in "where it's really nice."

There was a large table.

So we sat at it and drank our Tim Horton's.

Hello, America! (Our phones actually worked in Sault Ste. Marie cause we were so so close!)

We drove away from Sault Ste. Marie, where it's really nice, a little farther north, to Lake Ivanhoe, where we'd be camping that night. I love camping. I love sleeping in a tent. I love campfires. I love camp food. I like getting a little dirty and waking up with the sun. Rob...not so much. He was a real trooper though, especially when we learned that camping right next to a lake in northern Ontario would not be the most pleasant experience. There were more mosquitoes out than I have ever encountered. We had to retreat inside the tent well before the sun went down, because even with the fire and two citronella candles going, as well as bug spray reapplied an unhealthy number of times, we were getting attacked.

One of the trading posts we stopped into felt quite like home.

This is like Final Destination: Canada...

Here is Rob, in his "bug hell" attire, at Lake Ivanhoe.

Grilled cheese for dinner.

Beautiful, but also buggy as hell.

Why I love camping with Rob. Last year it was the Spaghetti Man dance, this year it was roasting two marshmallows on a candy stick. 

I woke up near 5:30 the next morning and forced Rob awake so we could escape bug hell. Our drive the next day was the opposite of exciting. We stopped in Timmins - Home of Shania Twain! - but mostly drove through (our only reason to be there was for only for coffee, donuts, free wifi, and gas - which would become a semi-ritual on this trip). We didn't bother stopping in Swastika, we just took pictures of the sign from the car. We found the World's Largest Hockey Puck. We set up camp at Algonquin Provincial Park, which had way fewer bugs.

Rough name, 'lil northern Canadian town.

We cannot be sure this is the world's largest, because it was quite underwhelming. The nickel was like four times this size.

We had another night of camping ahead, before it was back to civilization, onward to Ottawa.

Canada Road Trip: Turning 30 On the Road and into Ontario

The sojourn into Ontario was partly (mostly) in celebration of my 30th birthday. This trip had several itineraries in its planning stages. We went from biking throughout Europe to biking through, like, Luxembourg and Belgium because - guess what! - Europe is bigger than you think. Then we were going to bike to Ontario, via some trail I found on the internet one day. We could never work out the logistics of how we would get started from somewhere other than Pittsburgh or how we would get the bikes home without having to track back.

Finally we decided a road trip was in order. And through Canada is where we make the best road trips. See, we have been up there in the north for road trips before. After crossing Canada by train in the summer of 2008, Rob and I have made several trips up there to drive around. Idiotically, they've mostly been during the winter. You know what it does in Canada in the winter? It snows. We did our first winter trip to the Maritimes - starting in Halifax, driving to Moncton and St. John's during the day, and then continuing the trip with a basically death-defying nighttime drive to Prince Edward Island. We honestly sat there in the car, listening to the last songs we would want to listen to ever, because we were both really uncertain if we could get to our hotel safely. We've done a winter trip to Newfoundland, because that's really intelligent. Then we took some spring trips. Like starting in Winnipeg (I sincerely hope the return of the Jets has helped the denizens of that city get back to something slightly less zombie-like) and driving through Manitoba, Saskatchewan, and Alberta - three states our waiter at my birthday steak dinner referred to as "The Gap."

I'm getting off topic. And anyone who came here to read about Pittsburgh is probably seriously confused.

Basically, I celebrated by 30th birthday by going to some places in Canada I have never been before. Sure, there also were normal and previously visited places places - Ottawa, Toronto, Niagara Falls. But that was the back end of the trip. Our first couple days? Small towns with absolutely ridiculous reasons to stop in them.

But, of important note, this drive straight north started directly at the end of the Japandroids show at Mr. Smalls.

I'm Brian. That's David.

These guys. No better way to start the beginning of my birthday celebration than watching these nice Canadians be loud and fun and awesome. At the end of the show, we jumped in the car and were off. I was two hours from thirty.

By the time we got to our Howard Johnson's room in Hamilton, Ontario [please go back and reread that for full effect], I had been in my thirties for three and a half hours. When we pulled up to our classy lodgings for the night, we noticed it was attached to a Yuk Yuks as well as a Hooters. Happy Birthday to Me!

Click for a closer look. It's Hamilton, Ontario!

We slept a few hours, and then it was quickly to the ORIGINAL Tim Horton's, where I had my birthday donuts. I have been to this Tim Horton's location every year for the past three years. There is seriously something wrong with me. Then a day of driving hell began. From Hamilton we drove to Owen Sound, where my objective was to obtain an Owen Sound Attack t-shirt. (Owen is one of my favorite musicians, so this was a legit thing I needed to have.) We bought the shirt, stuck our hand in Lake Huron, and then got back on the road. We stopped off for gas in Peary Sound and stretched our legs walking up a pier.

This was supposed to be six donuts with five candles in each, but this did me perfectly fine after a long night of driving.

First dino sighting.

Canada is such a darling place.

My new plan? Buy a summer place in Parry Sound.

I have a tradition of having a good steak dinner on my birthday. We got to Sudbury, and we couldn't find the steak place we'd looked up online. When I get hungry, I get cranky and impatient. So I made Rob pull into a Super 8, where we went and asked the lady working the front desk about it. She basically told us we were making a mistake for going there for a steak dinner, and she pointed us in the direction of a place called The Keg.

Well, thank you Claire from Super 8 in Sudbury, because this meal was a major highlight of the week. We had the most earnest and happy waiter named Mark, who I think was pretty dumbfounded by our trip. When he learned we had driven there from Pittsburgh, his reaction was "Jesus, what the hell are you doing here?" The steak was good, there was beer, and they gave us free cake, which was actually ice cream in the shape of cake.

Mark's first question to us when he learned we were in Sudbury as "tourists" was, "Have you seen the nickel?!" Seriously. Question mark and exclamation point. We hadn't yet, but it was on our list of things to do in Sudbury. (1. Eat steak; 2. See the World's Largest Nickel.) We got there just as the sun was going down. The sunset looks lovely, which apparently it does every night in Sudbury, because there is so much pollution released into the air by nearby factories!

Dead bugs/beautiful sunset.

Oh, and there was a dinosaur at the nickel, which, brought the total count of dinosaur sightings on my 30th birthday tally to two.

From the nickel it was onward to our next accommodations ..in Sault Ste. Marie.