So. The bad news I got, that I mentioned in a previous post, ended up being the tip of the iceberg of bad news for that week. On Saturday, I received the phone call every child dreads. In the following days, I lived in a surreal waking state. I went through the motions. I planned a funeral. I gave a eulogy. Now, five days later, I sit in my apartment in Bloomfield, exhausted.
This evening, still not completely ready to be alone, I spent it walking around Friendship, Bloomfield, and along Penn Ave with my friend Carrie. We went to Twisters for ice cream and walked the streets, sometimes in silence, sometimes talking. I felt myself slowly coming out of the daze I'd been wallowing in. Pittsburgh. With its colors, its crazy inhabitants, and its familiarity. It began washing over me, and I let it.
And now, we move on. We take walks. Ride our bikes. Do our jobs. Hang out with our friends. We wonder about it. But one day, hopefully that last one will stop.
Oddly, I'm filled with hope and vigor. In a way, I feel like I lead a slightly different life now, with a major piece missing. It's a fresh start. At least, thats how I have to look at it, to get through it.
Here are some things we saw tonight, as we walked around the neighborhood.
There was a string of orange protractors, all down Penn Ave.
I asked Carrie to remind me to take a picture of "the man," something I've passed and admired many times, but have never taken a picture of.
As we walked down Penn Ave, we passed Grow Pittsburgh. In my fresh start, I want to actually make an effort to become involved with more organizations as a volunteer. I want to find a way to relax, and am looking into yoga classes at Yoga Hive. I want to look into a community garden plot, and start working toward a real garden, and only concentrate on herbs and ferns and flowers on my balcony. I want to be a more active participant in the city. I want to be a more active participant in my own life. If I've learned anything from these last few sad days, it's that life is too short. We need to live. Because one day, we won't.